You’re lonesome and you want some companionship. Here’s a formula for getting it in a way that won’t bring destruction and grief into your life. It’s better than a one-off love spell of the sort that’s likely to mess you up. This outline involves more than just a ritual in your basement—because authentic change demands self-change. Follow these steps and notice that we don’t get to the actual ritual magic until the end, which is quite simple and direct.
This praxis always works, but it is work. And it will change your life. If you want to skip down to the ritual, be my guest. But know that, although it can succeed without the other parts, the ritual will take the path of least resistance and bring someone into your life as soon as possible. The other parts are designed to make what the ritual brings be good, healthy, and satisfying—while giving you a lot of additional benefits and powers. Just doing a love spell is like dialing a random number and asking that person to come over for tea. It might be good. You might get a serial killer. Be warned.
Fix Your Physicality: cardio is more important than weights, but they work well together. You don’t need to run marathons. You just need to be fit. I am personally a fan of the USMC physical fitness program. But find what works for you. Joining a gym and going every day is more than acceptable. Martial arts are wonderful. Yoga and isometrics. Mountain biking. You decide. Just remember: cardio and some form of resistance to build muscle. And practice daily hygiene. If you do this, people will eventually want to fuck you.
Fix Your Finances: if you’re over the age of
18 and living in a western country, you need some sort of income stream. Yes, it means a job. This is material for a separate post, but for
our purposes here, just focus on getting work that doesn’t drive you crazy or
make you exhausted. You don’t work to be
happy at first. You just work to
survive. Then you can figure out how to get
a better job or modify your current job to get more satisfaction. This will also give you many, many other
benefits and lessons. And mundane work,
even if it doesn’t seem like it on the surface, is pure magic. If you’re a college student living off loans,
college is your job. College, done
mindfully, is also a deep form of magic.
The bottom line is that you need a little (not a lot of) money
to carry on a relationship. You need to
be a responsible person if you want people to respect you and if you want to
respect yourself. You even need money
for a one-night stand. You don’t have to
be rolling in it. But you do need some.
Fix Your Personality: no one will want to be
near you if you radiate depression and desperation. You need to be socially happy and funny in
order to be charming. And you need to be
charming for people to feel like you have something to offer beyond a one-night
hookup. You may think you might not know
how to be happy and funny, but that’s only because you’re afraid.
Learn to be socially happy by finding something you can do with others that you
enjoy. This can be a sport, a hobby,
whatever. Join a choir. Take bowling lessons. Take a massage class. It doesn’t matter. The point is that you have to enjoy it and
you have to be able to do it with others.
I’m not going to put down video games; they’re a wonderful way to
unwind. But video gaming with
others does not count.
Online gaming posits too many layers of technological
mediation between people. You need to be
physically present so you can have nonverbal communication replete with pheromones
and body language, even with people you are not romantically interested in. This is essential. If all you want to do is relate to people in
your MMO raiding group, you don’t need sorcery.
You just need a computer. Conversely,
those who find love, do so more effectively by going old-school: learn to relate
to your body and its chemistry and to other people’s bodies and their chemistries
in real space and time. Be present. Give your Steam account a rest.
Learn to be funny by developing the ability to laugh in a non-cruel way. Everyone develops cruel laughter as a kid. It’s a weapon. But very few people will desire someone who
uses that childish weapon with impunity (or at all). Instead, learn to laugh at the absurdity of life for its
own sake. Laugh with people, not at
them.
Watch a bunch of stand-up comedians.
Find the ones that annoy you the least and try to understand why they’re
funny (why people in the audience are laughing). This can be a hard study for some people. Even more challenging: if you want to up your
game considerably, read Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than
IQ by Ray Goleman, Yes, And: How Improvisation Reverses "No,
but" Thinking and Improves Creativity and Collaboration - Lessons from the
Second City by Kelly Leonard, and Truth in Comedy by Charna Halpern. Really advanced: practice regular “laughter meditation.” If that seems crazy and impossible, learn a
little more about it in this old BBC
spot with John Cleese.
If you can learn to laugh in a non-cruel way, you will know how to be funny
from time to time without forcing it.
Most people say that someone with a great sense of humor (i.e. their
sense of humor) is highly attractive.
This is your work.
Fix Your Spirituality: I make sacrifices and
offerings to dark gods at night. During
the day, I try to practice compassion and avoid hurting others. It may seem like these are at odds, but they
really aren’t. A mature spiritual
practice embraces the totality of the human condition, the dark and the light,
the negative and the positive.
For example, if you consider yourself a theistic Satanist or a
demonolator and you only relate to non-STEM
aspects of life in an adversarial way because that’s the aesthetic of your
belief system, you need to improve it.
That means you need to understand how a mature Satanist can have a lot
of friends. It means that even though
you’ve pledged your soul to Asmodeus, you’re not using that as an excuse to
avoid making yourself socially vulnerable.
Don’t be a cliché and fall into the trope of the angry, friendless
occultist in the basement—the magical incel (or femcel).
The most advanced spiritual practitioners are magnetic. People seek them out. They have more friends than they will ever
need—not because they put the root on everyone they know, but because they are
charismatic and kind.
If you practice dark rites and adversarial individualism, you need to add in some
light. I recommend you read and adapt
methods from The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions by Greg Marcus, Creating
True Peace by Thich Nhat Thanh, and / or The Mindful Self-Compassion
Workbook by Kristin Neff. If you
practice something with a lot of love and light and community, you need to add in some
darkness. I recommend Dark Goddess
Craft by Stephanie Woodfield, Uncle Setnakt’s Essential Guide to the
Left Hand Path by Don Webb, and / or How I Found Freedom in an Unfree
World by Harry Browne.
Do a Simple
Ritual: having studied all these things and improved yourself, you are
radiating attractiveness, balance, charm, and wisdom. People will already be drawn to you. And the magic will be easy at this
point. You won’t need much. On a Friday when the moon is waxing, get a
red glass novena candle. Dress the top
with rose oil. On a piece of paper
write, “Love and sex come to me.” Fold
the paper towards you in half and put it under the candle. Light the candle and invoke your love entity
of choice. If you don’t have one, Venus
is always listening. You could do worse
than reciting the Orphic hymn to Aphrodite over the candle with sincerity.
Orphic Hymn to Aphrodite (#55)
Heavenly, smiling
Aphrodite, praised in many hymns,
sea-born, revered
goddess of generation, you like the nightlong revel
and you couple lovers
at night, O scheming mother of Necessity.
Everything comes from
you; you have yoked the world,
and you control all
three realms. You give birth to all,
to everything in
heaven, upon the fruitful earth
and in the depths of
the sea, O venerable companion of Bacchos.
You delight in
festivities, O bridelike mother of the Erotes,
O Persuasion whose joy
is in the bed of love, secretive, giver of grace,
visible and invisible,
lovely-tressed daughter of a noble father,
bridal feast companion
of the gods, sceptered she-wolf,
beloved and man-loving
giver of birth and of life,
with your maddening
love-charms you yoke mortals
and the many races of
beasts to unbridled passion.
Come, O goddess born
in Cyprus, whether you are on Olympos,
O queen, exulting in
the beauty of your face,
or you wander in
Syria, country of fine frankincense,
or, yet, driving your
golden chariot in the plain,
you lord it over
Egypt’s fertile river bed.
Come, whether you ride
your swan-drawn chariot over the sea’s billows,
joying in the
creatures of the deep as they dance in circles,
or you delight in the
company of the dark-faced nymphs on land,
(as, light-footed,
they frisk over the sandy beaches).
Come, lady, even if
you are in Cyprus that cherishes you,
where fair maidens and
chaste nymphs throughout the year
sing of you, O blessed
one, and of immortal, pure Adonis.
Come, O beautiful and
comely goddess;
I summon you with holy
words and pious soul.
Translation by A.
Athanassakis
Burn the candle for 15 minutes a day until there’s nothing left. On the day you start, go to your calendar. Put a note in for three days from now, three
weeks from now, and three months from now.
These are your check-in moments.
Do not think about this work except on those days. If it comes to mind, say to yourself, "I am
pleased with my progress and will check in with it on the appropriate
days." Then go about your business. Continue all the non-ritual practices given
above (the exercise, the spiritual development, the emotional development, the income).
In less than 1 year
but probably within 3-6 months of you starting this work, you will find love
and sex. In a future post, I’ll write
about how to deal with getting what you want.